Forum Bonaberi.com

[caroline]

it is no good for someone to tell you to forgive other
when you cannot even forgive yourself.
when you feel anger and hatred for someone, it is often a projection of anger and hatred you have for yourself
you find faults in others that you know you exhibit yourself, and are thus irritated by having them brought to your choice
when you have compassion for you own failing, you will find yourself more tolerant of the failing of others
so it is with forgiveness.
that which you cannot forgive in another you cannot forgive in yourself
until we recognize that all of us share the potential for wrongdoing and also share a common hope for redemption through sincere regret and the desire to act better in the future
we cannot reclaim a future free from the emotional tatters of the past
nor can we expect to be forgiven for our own lapses since we have ruled out forgiveness to others...........

remember, when a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive….

next... later......
good nite for now!
_________________
Beni soit L'exactitude" Dieu!

[caroline]

just this!


la décision de pardonner ou laisser partir doit être authentique et sincère
so, let no one tell you, you must forgive ; si tu ne te sent pas prêt a le faire, ou si tu sens que tu ne peus pas pardonner- laisser partir.
car prétendre pardonner ajoute l'insulte à ta blessure, ajoute le parasite dans la blessure…..
personne d autre ne sais comment marcher dans tes chaussures, mais, malheureusement, aussi longtemps que tu demeure incapable de pardonner, il te sera impossible de te libérer de toi-même, epuis tous les aspects dans le future seront affectées négativement.

Remember, ns vivons dans une monde des consquences.
Un couteau a double tranchant…….
The choice is always yours.


Good nite!
_________________
Beni soit L'exactitude" Dieu!

[Los Angeles]

Thanks sista Caroline for helping me in this matter, I sure do appreciate it a lot.

I agree with most of the things you said but what if a dying person is asking for forgiveness to have peace of mind before the death? What are you going to do? You will have to forgive whether you are not ready or not willing. You see what I mean?

In my case, I've been holding this grudge for almost a decade now and I think it's time for me to bury the ache eventhough I still not feel ready but for the sake of my kids I have to do it. They need to have a relationship with that person and I can't let it happen until we are cool. Also I can't let it go as you said cuz I can't pretend to like somebody.

I'm ready to forgive but it's so hard cuz when I see the person I still have those unpleasant memories but don't worry we have a civil and very polite relationship. I'm not feeling any bitterness or any feeling of revenge. No time for that I'm a very happy person.

There is a very wise proverb in my dialect that says: "Na bi na mba nde na bodi bobe nde biño pe lo boli bobe nyola na la lo bangui o lakisse mba". This was my wake up call. Now I put it in my prayers and I know God will one day give me the strength to forget and forgive.


Thanks again and have a blessed week.
_________________
Just because you are free to say whatever you want doesn't always mean you should.

[caroline]

c esr vrai!
but, before that there are many things to say,
here,



With forgiveness or let go comes choices and responsibility
You alone can decide if you are able to accept or bestow forgiveness, and control when and if it is more appropriate to express blame than forgiveness
Each choice has consequences
It you choose to withhold forgiveness for the moment, you must find a positive way to contain your pain, or risk it affecting your health, life, and relationships
Whatever you decide, there will be times when it is good to release the energy usually spent or restraining anger and hate.
Anger is a survival tool, like mankind;s innate caution with height and fear of death
Life is 5/100 what you make of what happens to you
You have choice at all times
Bad and sad things happens to everyone, but whether you let them color your whole life, or just add shade and contour to it is up to you
Holding on to anguish does nothing to alter material facts or bring back a time past.
It does do a huge amount to ruin your present, life, and all those presents make up your future
Forgiveness is a decision you are free to make
Some make it early, some late, some not at all
But it is in the gift of each one of us…..

So,
How can you bestow forgiveness for your children if you yourself, (is) not that???
We always give what we (are)……
Think about it.
So
1st forgive or let go for own sake in 1st place, and the rest will come easily and peacefully…..
free yourself 1st so that you can free your children later……

we hope you understand.
We always give what we (are) to our love one, and this is a sign of real love, or real hate,or respect or disrecpect……
Remember, it have nothing to do with material stuff……..

Les mots en parentheses indiquent le ( coeur, ton etre)
We give what we are inside ourselves.
We Will bring the rest later on…….
_________________
Beni soit L'exactitude" Dieu!

[caroline]

Tout comme c est normal que notre corps fasse mal quand nous avons une coupure, ou lorsque nous tombons et que un os se casse,
C est nomal que le corps émotionnel fasse mal parce que nous sommes en vie, parce que nous sommes entourés par des prédateurs, et nous sommes aussi des prédateurs
Mais il n'y a vraiment personne à blâmer, c'est juste la façon dont les choses se font
Si nous blâmons, c est notre poison émotionnel qui nous fait blâmer
Au lieu de blâmer, nous pouvons prendre la responsabilité pour la guérison
Mais il ya beaucoup de gens ( myself y compris) qui ont peur d'être responsables, ils veulent que quelqu'un d'autre porte leurs bagages, leur emotions-non purifier, puis apres blâmer ces meme gens lorsque 'ils ne font pas ce que'ils pensent est bon,
Bon pour qui ?
Bon pour celui qui refuse de porter ses bagages et se debarraser ce ceux qui ne sont plus util , neccesaire…….
_________________
Beni soit L'exactitude" Dieu!

[caroline]

Souvent, la pluspart du temps ns blamons parceque l autre na pas correspondu a notre idéal qui est dans notre mental, ns blâmons ceux qui sont autour de ns pour notre propre idéal de la perfection ... et rien d autre……

si tu attend que quelqu'un vienne te sauver,
well, you have to save yourself
tu es ton propre sauveur, tu devrai a pprendre a te debarraser de ces bagages lourd et triste a porter pour aider toi-meme a guerrir de tous ce qui te derrange pour enfin gagner ta guerre personnelle, ta propre guerre civile à l'intérieur de toi…
tu connais la meilleur solution…
forgiveness en d autre mots, let-go… et recommence a vivre ta vie………
i know it hurts but…… you might not be here tomorrow….or in the nexte 5 minutes,
qui sait!!!!!
juste pour dire.
_________________
Beni soit L'exactitude" Dieu!